We all know about the Sunday Scaries—that moment on Sunday when you realize the weekend is over and it’s time to wrap your head around the week ahead.

But have you heard of the September Scaries?

It’s that moment somewhere around the middle of August when you suddenly realize summer is winding down. The long days, vacations, dinners outside and summer fun are coming to an end—and the school year is staring you right in the face.

For empty nesters and soon-to-be empty nesters, the September Scaries can hit especially hard.

After a summer of welcomed chaos, kids coming and going, a fuller house, and all those familiar parenting responsibilities suddenly front and center again, it’s time to say goodbye.

And even though the extra laundry, grocery shopping and general chaos may have driven us a little crazy, there was something pretty damn awesome about having everyone home again.

Then suddenly…the house gets quiet.

If this is your first time becoming an empty nester, welcome to the club! And if you’re an old-timer at this and have been through a few September goodbyes already, maybe this is the year we decide that this next chapter can be one of the most fulfilling we’ve lived yet.

You may be asking:

“Okay, Mychal. How the hell do we do that?”

Well, that’s exactly why I created The Empty Nest Lab.

For 18+ years, so much of our time, energy and identity has revolved around actively parenting. When that changes, the transition isn’t always easy.

First, it is completely normal to miss your kids and grieve the end of this particular chapter of family life.

But there’s something else happening at the same time:

We suddenly have space.

And many of us have absolutely no idea what to do with it.

I believe this transition becomes a lot more exciting when we stop asking, “How am I going to fill all this time?” and start asking:

“What would actually fulfill me?”

What sets my soul on fire?
What have I missed?
What do I want more of?
Who am I when I’m not actively parenting every day?
And what could this next chapter actually look like?

Whether you’re currently loading up the car for college, just returned from drop-off, or your kids have been out of the house for years, here are three things I want you to try this month.

1. MAKE YOUR “WHAT LIGHTS ME UP?” LIST

Grab a journal, a piece of paper or open your Notes app.

Think back over your life and write down as many moments as you can remember when you completely lost track of time because you were so engaged in what you were doing.

Go all the way back.

Childhood.
High school.
College.
Your twenties.
Life before kids.

One rule: nothing on the list can revolve around parenting.

Try to come up with at least 20 things.

Maybe you loved painting. Dancing. Hiking. Cooking. Playing tennis. Going to concerts. Writing. Traveling. Making sandcastles on the beach.

Nothing is too silly or insignificant.

When you’re finished, circle one.

Then make it your business to put that thing back into your life sometime this month.

Yes—even if it’s building a sandcastle!

2. CREATE A “WHAT SHOULD WE TRY?” LIST

Sit down with your partner—or grab your bestie if you’re single—and make a list of experiences you’ve always talked about trying but never seemed to have the time for when the kids were home.

Put the phones away for this one (no distractions! we are connecting here!!!) Grab a pen and paper and brainstorm together.

What sounds fun?

A cooking class?
A weekend somewhere new?
Learning to play pickleball?
Seeing live music?
Trying stand-up paddleboarding?
Finally booking that trip you’ve talked about forever?

When you're finished, choose your top three.

Then—and this is the important part—actually research them TOGETHER and put something on the calendar.

Having something new to plan and look forward to gives you something to talk about besides the kids, work, schedules and responsibilities. And experiencing something new together can create an entirely different kind of connection.

3. PUT “ME TIME” ON THE CALENDAR

Schedule some guilt-free time that is just for you.

Not errands.

Not grocery shopping.

Not catching up on things around the house.

Something you genuinely want to do.

Read a book in the middle of the afternoon. Meet a friend for coffee. Go for a long walk. Take yourself to lunch. Try a new workout. Sit somewhere beautiful and do absolutely nothing.

Maybe it’s something that would have felt almost decadent when the kids were home and you were constantly running around.

Here's the catch:

You have to actually put it on your calendar.

Treat that time like you would any other important appointment. Don't give it away the minute someone or something else needs you.

You matter too.

These are three very small steps, but they can be the beginning of a much bigger shift.

Because creating a fulfilling next chapter takes some conscious thought and intention.

And I’m not talking about finding more things to FILL your days.

I’m talking about finding the things that FULFILL you.

There’s a big difference.

Your kids leaving home may mark the end of one chapter—but it also gives you an opportunity to intentionally decide what you want the next one to look like.

And honestly with true intention and thought, that part can be pretty exciting if you allow it.

WANT TO GO A LITTLE DEEPER?

If something in this newsletter resonated with you, I’d love for you to join me for my FREE Empty Nest Lab webinar on September 9 at 7:00 PM.

We’re going to talk about navigating this transition and beginning to figure out what you want this next chapter to look like—with more purpose, connection and intention.

INTERESTED IN 1:1 COACHING?

I also offer an 8-session private coaching program designed to help you rediscover what lights you up, make intentional changes in your life, reconnect with your partner and create a next chapter that feels purposeful and fulfilling.

If you’d like to learn more, email me at emptynestlabcoach@gmail.com to schedule a free consultation.

Here’s to saying goodbye to the September Scaries—and hello to whatever comes next.

Mychal
The Empty Nest Lab

Reconnect. Rebuild. Redefine.